Book Review: 20 something, 20 everything

20-Something, 20-Everything: A Quarter-life Woman's Guide to Balance and Direction

By: Christine Hassler

Shopping for this book in Barnes and Noble I was reminded of the Sex and the City episode where Charlotte slinks around the “self-help” section of the bookstore after separating from Trey. I was indeed shopping in this same section flooded with anxiety about my career, upcoming marriage, and the future in general. I couldn’t wait to get this book home and dive right in. To me it was the magic 8 ball that would answer all of my questions.

What I like about this book:

Hassler did extensive research of women in their 20s for this book and what she found is quite astonishing.  Through case studies and surveys she found that women currently in their 20s are describing that their lives are filled with stress, fear, pressure, expectations, self-discovery, and listlessness. While our mothers described their lives at this age as exciting, liberating, happy, responsible, and loving; the differences in answers are troublesome. What could cause such a change in perception? My personal opinions are media influence and a shift in women’s roles but hey I’m the one in the self-help section so I’m definitely no expert. The introduction has a quiz you can take to decide to help you decide if you are indeed experiencing a quarter life crisis like I was. It’s simple “yes” and “no” answers to each question with the author believing that if you have 5 or more “yes” you might be experiencing a quarter life crisis.

1.     Do you feel a need to “have it all”?

2.     Do you feel older for the first time in your life?

3.     Do you feel pressure to grow up and get your adult life in order?

4.     Do you often feel depressed, overwhelmed, lost, and maybe even a little hopeless?

5.     Do you ever feel that time is running out when you try to figure out your career and decide whether you want to get married and/or have children?

6.     Are you stressed out by choices that seemingly will affect the rest of your life?

7.     Do you feel that you have failed because you don’t know what you want to do with your life?

8.     Do you overanalyze yourself and your decisions?

9.     Do you ever feel guilty for complaining about your life when you’ve lived only about a quarter of it?

10.  Are you embarrassed that you have not figured out or accomplished more?

This book has a series of additional writing activities and questions to help you along your journey. The first questions it poses are :

·       Who am I?

·       What do I want?

·       How do I get what I want or think I want?

It’s like therapy for a one-time fee. I was honest with myself, thoughtful, deep, and sometimes humorous with my answers. The combination of reading the authors personal experiences, the other women she interviewed for the book, and the writing exercises are a great asset to this book. I really felt at ease about my future and that I’m not alone in the pressures I feel to succeed. I had this desire to have everything figured out and that I needed to have it all: career, marriage, starting a family. But did I have time to make all my dreams and goals come true? I felt like if I focused on my career my marriage would suffer but If I halted on my career I would be giving up so much of my personal wants and goals. At the same time I felt this tiny reminder that I was only getting older and pretty soon the focus would be entirely off of what I wanted and onto raising children. (AHHH!)  The goal of the book is to help you gain some insight with your answers and use them to create your own “road map” to your future. After reading this book I can truly say that it was immensely helpful for me and allowed me to view some things in my life in a way I wouldn’t have come across without its guidance. I have so many great years ahead of me and am lucky enough to have a super supportive husband to help me through my journey and moments of doubt. I encourage you to take a minute to answer the questions above and maybe you will find that this book could be helpful for you or someone who know. I’m interested in hearing if others have read this book or have experienced these same feelings growing up in their 20s?

Morgan